A very sorry performance.

The Daily Mirror, on it’s front page,majored on the surreal show trial of the four bad bankers. It was angry.  “YOU SORRY SHOWER”.  It went on in this vein, “the most pathetic apologies in history…their self pitying rambles…..with alarming arrogance insisting the crisis was not their fault”.

In the Mail, Quentin Letts, master of understatement, “The quartet-these guilty grovellers! this gruesome foursome!- looked queasy.” The Times was kinder, commenting that the bankers delivered their prepared soundbites and responded to questions with candour and courtesy.

The concensus was that the bankers, briefed and well rehearsed, came out of the  hearing better than they deserved.  They were lucky. “Select committees are currently better at theatre than scrutiny” (Times). And the Mirror,”The bloodsuckers…escaped with a couple of hours on the naughty step”.

They were indeed lucky. One of their legacies for anyone pitching today is a much more challenging climate of searching, even hostile, questioning. The subject being cost! And the questions are asked by people who do know their business, unlike select committees.

As ever, preparation and rehearsal is all. The response and the way you make it. Grovelling will not work!

Don’t forget to warm up.

Outside of the fields of play in sport, pitching for business can be one of the most competitive acts  we engage in. It is wise going in to any pitch to assume that the competition is as good as you, that their proposal will be comparable, that their people are as talented.

So, as in sport, it is the performance on that day, at that moment, that counts.

In competitive sport this calls for a serious warm-up. In the nets (not that it did England much good this week), on the practice court, since the first ball, the first serve can set up the win.  In my own sport, the warm up would take 60 minutes for a race of around 14 seconds. If you did not get to the first hurdle first, it was tough to win.

Pitches too can be won or lost in the first few  moments. “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”. (Will Rogers).

So a warm up, both physical and mental, is a good idea. The physical side means arriving with plenty of time to set up, decide who sits where, checking how and where materials are used, sightlines, temperature etc, etc, etc. All obvious, but even minor cock-ups can undermine confidence.

Mental preparation can be helped by spending time on the all important introductions and opening remarks.  Getting through these with “easy authority “( Jan 28th post on Ken Clarke)  sets you up for a great performance.

“All too human Johnson has a world of worry on his hands”

One of my sporting heroes is Martin Johnson.  His undeniable talent and his towering presence on the field  made him a formidable leader.  However, off the field, thrust early (too early?) into the role of manager, that presence seems diminished.  One reason he did not win our sport performance award, posted on Jan 4th.

The title here was the headline of an article by Richard Williams in yesterday’s Guardian.  It suggests there is indeed a worry.  Describing the performance at the press launch of the Six Nations, he said  Johnson spoke well enough with his customary thoughtful taciturnity and an occasional glint of humour.

The problem, a large one in every sense, was the body language.  “Those big strong fingers…were ceaselessly twisting in and out making his hands resemble a couple of baby squids having a wrestling match.  In the end, I stopped listening to the answers and concentrated on the hands!”

The article went  on “those fingers never stopped writhing…and what they were saying appeared, even in the most amateurish of body language, to betray a terrible anxiety”. Tellingly, it then compared this behaviour with the other head coaches on parade “it was impossible not to make a comparison with those who were able to sit back, drop their hands and have a relaxed conversation”

In other words he lost the ‘media’ pitch, badly.  Not because of what he said, but the way he said it.

You could argue that provided he inspires and motivates his players, which surely he can, then their performance will be all the talking needed.  The danger, however, is that his apparent, and public, lack of confidence will  be picked up by the team.

The indomitable Johnson, I’m sure, will conquer this in his own way and does not need pitchcoach advice.  (If he did, then the Rehearsal Best Practice guide could help!)

The big beast is back!

Recent posts have discussed confidence.  How Obama has it big time.  How  Gordon regained it, briefly, but is losing it.  How Mandelson is now the Labour voice of confidence, albeit in the wrong, and lately much diminished House (of sleeze?).  How Cameron and Osborne, economic ‘novices’, do not readily  inspire.

The timing was right. “With a crashing and roaring through the undergrowth the big beast is back!” Or in another animal analogy, from Athony Grimson, describing a one sided encounter with Mandelson’s representative in the Commons, “It was like sending a boy with a pea-shooter to take on a fully grown rhinoceros.”

At a time when we need some cheer, Ken provides it with his ebullience, authenticity, a ‘devil-may-care-frankness’, his self-assurance.  Add to this the perception that he talks about the economy as if he really does know what he’s talking about.  And in language we can understand!

However, the characteristic that is most frequently comented on is his “easy authority”.  Or, as Grimson puts it “the sense he conveys of being at ease with himself”.

In any  pitch, it is easy authority that will carry the day!

“Lend me your tears”…

One of many headlines that reported on Kate Winslet’s  Golden Globe Awards “acceptance speech of painfully histrionic proportions”. “There were tears, there was hyperventilation (Hhhuuuuh! Hhhuuuuuh! My God!)…it was memorable but it wasn’t pretty” (Times). “Could someone please pass the sick bag”.(Express).

For a great actress this was not a great performance! It was a lousy pitch.  So, what lessons can we, non actors, take from it? 

We accept that a pitch does call for performance.  It does call for content that is prepared in advance, that has an opening , a clear storyline with typically three scenes, and an ending.

 It calls for rehearsal so that the ‘actors’ are at ease with their material and each other.  It calls for, if not a director, an objective observer to check that intended and recieved communication are the same.

Perhaps, if Kate Winslet had studied the Pitchcoach Best Practice guides she would not have “joined the cast of Hollywood Howlers!”