Author Archives: Michael

WHY QUOTE A QUOTE IN YOUR WEDDING SPEECH?

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” I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognised wiser than oneself.”

 MARLENE DIETRICH 

 

 

It’s easy to search for quotations. The trick is to look for the ones that are relevant to what you’re trying to say, making a point that adds a degree of memorability to your speech.  Here are a few taken from my book.

 “The future for me is already a thing of the past-                                                                                        You were my first love and you will be my last.”          BOB DYLAN

“Love is the greatest refreshment in life.”                PABLO PICASSO

“How do you spell ‘love’?”-Piglet                                                                                                                   “You don’t spell it … you feel it.” – Pooh                 A.A.MILNE

“Dammit, sir, it is your duty to get married. You can’t always be living for pleasure.” OSCAR WILDE

“Longed for him. Got him. Shit.”                        MARGARET ATTWOOD

 

 There are lots more in my book Unaccustomed As I Am… The Wedding Speech Made Easy  published November 3rd. You can pre-order on Amazon

                                                                         

20 WEDDING SPEECH DON’TS!

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1.Don’t procrastinate, prepare early

2.Don’t ignore your brief

3.Don’t think a drink will make you a hero

4.Don’t go on and on and on

5.Don’t embarrass the guests

068_caveman_wedding 6. Don’t hesitate to tell personal stories

7.Don’t be shy about reciting poetry

8.Don’t read a script, looking down

9. Don’t fail to rehearse, rehearse

10. Don’t try to tell jokes when you can’t

101_lungs11.Don’t speak if you can’t be heard

12.Don’t use hard-to-pronounce words

13. Don’t get lost in complicated sentences

14. Don’t talk without           pausing

15. Don’t forget to breathe (now and again

017_jelly16. Don’t assume everyone knows you

17. Don’t focus only on your own friends

18. Don’t forget the names that matter

19. Don’t, please don’t forget to smile

20. Don’t worry about nerves, everyone has them

“ I get nervous when I don’t get nervous. If I’m nervous I know I’m going to have a good show.”      BEYONCE

 

 

 

 

WISE WORDS FROM ARISTOTLE ON THE PERFECT WEDDING SPEECH

if Aristotle was around today what advice would he give for making the perfect wedding speech? Pitchcoach_IMAGES_02131pillarHe would probably suggest we master the ‘five canons of rhetoric.’ As expressed by Quintilian:

“The whole art of oratory, as the most and greatest writers have taught, consists of five parts; invention, arrangement, style, memory and delivery.”

invention ( inventio)  is the vital stage of exploring all possible avenues and sources for what you might say, anecdotes, stories, interesting facts and milestones – anything that may be of interest. It can help to create a mind-map. The goal is to find an idea, a narrative thread, for your speech.

Arrangement (dispositio) covers the organising of your content to make the best impact. In Greek, the word is taxis – to arrange your troops for battle! The-audience-is-not-your-enemyWhile not fighting your guests, it helps you to deliver it, and them to follow it, if you have a framework.. One is known as ‘the rule of three.’ It reflects Aristotle’s three act plot structure. For example you could introduce your narrative thread as ‘milestones on a romantic journey’ and arrange your stories – the heart of any speech- around ‘early days’, ‘significant stops’ and ‘arrival’.

Style (elocutio) This is  is all about making the guests want to listen to you!                                    068_caveman_wedding Seems obvious, but the point being made is that it is all about how you do it – the way you come across. The common error is to focus only on content, slaving over the writing and correcting until the last minute. Thus leaving little or no time to work, by rehearsing, on the impression you make with expression and body language. Essential to making the emotional connection you want.

Memory  (memoria)                                                                                        For the ancient orators notepaper was rare! They had to memorise their speeches and learn to deliver them spontaneously, something you will want to do. Something you can’t do reading from a script. The best ‘spontaneous’ solution is to prepare notes to refer to, only if really needed. You’ll have a good grasp of your content so the notes need only contain key headings and ‘signpost’ words.

Delivery (actio)                                                                                                                                     _ding_ding When asked what was the most important component in oratory Demosthenes replied ‘DELIVERY‘. Asked what wa second, he responded, ‘DELIVERY’ and, third, ‘DELIVERY‘.

You can’t escape rehearsal if you want to deliver. Keep in mind these final wise words:

‘I would not hesitate to assert that a mediocre speech supported by all the power of delivery will be more impressive than the best speech unaccompanied by such power.’ Quintilian, Institutes of Oratory

My book Unaccustomed As I Am… The Wedding Speech Made Easy is published November 3rd. you can pre-order on Amazon

 

THE ACTOR AND EMOTION

Unlike actors who benefit from a script by, say, Shakespeare, most speakers or presenters have to write their own words. This can lead to a common error among the less experienced of getting so caught up in getting the words right that they ignore the emotional connection they must make with their audience, whether one or a hundred.,

When we watch a play we expect to be engaged in an emotional experience but sometimes forget that an interviewer or conference delegate ‘audience’ also expects a level of emotional engagement. Professional actors know how to play on our emotions. This is how one answered some questions

Where does the emotion come from, the script or the actor? 

Emotion is a difficult word. It’s quite ambiguous. I looked up the definition and it says ‘A strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances,’ which I think is the perfect answer. It is neither the words, nor the actor, but the circumstances of the script that will evoke emotion in the actor, if the actor allows them self to be available to emotion. The given circumstances include: what kind of environment the character is in, what they are doing, what they want in the scene, etc.

The script tells the actor where the actor is and what kind of emotional dilemma they have, and then it is the actor’s job to find a way to make the emotional dilemma and the given circumstances truthful. So the answer is both. It is a marriage of the two.

Can you fake emotion?

You tell me. If you can fool your audience you are a very good actor. I can’t. Maybe Judi Dench can. I can only try to be truthful. I’m not very good at the craft of pretending but I respect those who are. I think usually my way is to focus on what I want in the scene and let the emotion happen naturally, for example: I want to get my dream job.

Now I think about what is at stake if I don’t get my dream job: I will feel like I have never reached my full potential, I will not be able to express something I need to express, I will feel complacent and cowardly for not trying, etc. If I think about this, I start feeling all kinds of emotions – passion, excitement, fear, inspiration, and joy. But it happens naturally. Focus on what you want and why you want it. Make it personal to you!

People try to be emotional in their performance, rather than just trying to get what they want and to affect their audience or fellow actors. Sometimes you don’t have to show any emotion, but you can make people weep, just by saying what you are saying simply and clearly with commitment and conviction.

“Only connect! Only connect the prose and the passion.” E.M.Forster